Your Situationship Told You That You’re Beautiful and Unlike Anyone He Has Ever Known, but He Is Also Gonna Be Busy for the Rest of the Semester

The morning light shines through the blinds on the bed that you share with your situationship. He looks over at you, tucks your hair behind your ear, and says, “You look magnificent right when you wake up. The sunlight makes your eyes look golden.” He tenderly kisses you on the forehead before getting dressed in your T-shirt, telling you that you are different from other girls, and leaving.

The rest of the day, he sends you reels that say things like: “Send this to the prettiest girl in the world,” and “She is magical. She looks like a deer,” along with a DM saying “you fr.” Last night, he told you things about his past that he claimed to have never told anyone before. 

He texts you the next morning that he slept with your T-shirt last night because it smells like you. He asks you to come over that evening, and you two stay up all night talking. In the odd hours of the morning, he tells you that his mom is coming to town next week, and he wants you to meet her. You agree, and finally decide to pop the question. 

“So uh, we’ve been going out for almost eight months now… I was just wondering, haha, umm, it’s silly for me to even ask, butttt are we, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”

He sits up in bed and responds, “Whoaaaa whoa whoa. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment. I mean, we aren’t even exclusive yet, haha”. 

The next day he sends you a song, saying he thinks you’d like it. It is called “The Birds, Pt. 1” by The Weeknd and features the line: “Don't make me make you fall in love.” For the next week, he texts you one-word answers to everything that you send him, and when you ask him to hang out, he tells you he is going to be really busy for the rest of the semester. 

A week goes by when you don’t hear from him, and then he sends you a text saying that he doesn’t want to see you anymore because he “likes you TOO much.” You are distraught. How could this heavily tattooed, Mitski-loving, self-proclaimed feminist, environmental activist philosophy major do this to you?!?!?!?