“FSU Film School a Complete Waste of Time,” Says Student Rejected from Film School


Media Productions major and self-proclaimed film expert Corey Brown has spent all week lashing out against FSU’s renowned film program. His goal is to make it clear that he couldn’t care less about the film school and also that his feelings on the subject have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his application to the program was just rejected for the third time. “To be honest, I’m glad I didn’t get accepted,” said Corey to the one person from film school that he’s friends with on Facebook. “Media Productions is really a far better program. I would totally much rather film volleyball games than get class credit to make movies.” Corey dreams of being a director when he grows up, and he takes comfort in knowing that none of his film idols had to go to a fancy film school to be successful. “I’m a true visionary and no one can tell me how to make my own art. When Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino were my age, they were probably wasting their talent filming collegiate sports too.”

The film school administration, however, is not taking Corey’s insults lightly. “Despite what anyone may say, our film school is a great program,” said Reb Braddock, dean of the College of Motion Picture Arts. “We’ve produced so many famous film stars – and by so many, I mean mainly just the girl that married Seth Rogen. But hey that’s pretty cool, right?”

Still interim president Garnett Stokes was also quick to jump to the defense of the film school. “The success of our film program is literally the only thing that separates us from the other shitty colleges in this state,” said Dr Stokes while slowly cleaning out her office. “If you take the film school away, then we’re basically just UCF except farther away from Disney World.”

Nevertheless, Corey maintains he is happy with his current major and that he doesn’t have to associate with those obnoxious snobs in film school. “They all act like they’re better than me just because they’re obviously better than me,” said Corey during a set break at last night’s volleyball game. “Maybe it won’t be me, but someday there will be a person from Media Productions who goes on to marry someone ten times more famous than Seth Rogen. Then we’ll see who’s laughing.”