Florida State University announced Wednesday morning that staring Fall 2014, iPhone emojis will be taught as a foreign language course. “We realized that the current requirements force students to learn unimportant languages like French and Spanish which serve no practical purpose” says one university official. “We want to give our students the best chance at succeeding in the modern age. So we will encourage all our students to become emoji fluent.” To fulfill the requirement, students must complete three semesters of emojis, beginning with Emoji 1101: Smiley Faces and Other Fundamentals and ending with Emoji 3240: Fruits, Vegetables, and Other Advanced Emojis.
Along with a new iPhone 5, students must purchase the corresponding My Emoji Lab, a comprehensive online experience that offers reviews, quizzes, and answers to such complicated questions as “What do I do when I accidentally send the wrong emoji?” and “Why are there no black emojis?”
As with all other foreign languages at Florida State, instructors are forbidden to use English and courses will be taught entirely in emojis. If a student wants to answer a question, he or she must find the high five emoji on their iPhone and then raise their phone in the air until the instructor calls on them.
To make room in the budget for the added courses, Florida State will eliminate the Chinese and Japanese language departments. “At Florida State we want to prepare our students for the future” university officials said. “In fifty years, knowing Chinese or Japanese won’t be important, but you know what will be? Knowing exactly what the cactus emoji means.”