University Study Rooms Now Allowing Intercourse


After a couple was found having sex in a residence hall study room last week, a few of the dormitory hall directors are considering issuing changes to their behavior and conduct guidelines. One by one campus officials are slowly but surely making changes allowing students to have a “quickie” in the study rooms of certain halls and libraries.

The director of Deviney Hall says he saw no future for his hall to begin with, thus becoming the first residence hall to allow sexual intercourse in the study rooms was an obvious choice. “There have been beds and DVD copies of Magic Mike added to each of the study rooms to make things a little bit easier for the students. Hopefully this will help improve the living experience for the residents, and maybe allow them to have at least one decent memory of this hall that doesn’t involve mold or clogged toilets.”

The social justice living learning community found in Wildwood  has never really cared about rules or regulations, ultimately explaining the never leaving stench of weed right outside of the hall. Wildwood residents have been hooking up in study rooms since the dorm opened, so the new policies will not have much of an effect on them.

Some of the more pretentious halls like Landis, Gilchrist, and Broward claim to not be interested in any of that “funny business”. These residence halls have long study hallways, which connect all of the dorms together. This different layout would give people a chance to perhaps section an area for studying and another side for more intimate “studying”.

Strozier Library will begin renting out Smart Board rooms for twenty minute hook up sessions starting next week. However students are still responsible for cleaning up after they finish.