Your Friend Who Only Reads Wattpad Smut Changed Her Major to English
Archive Warnings: Major Character Death, Titties
Additional Tags: Gunger Hames, Lucy Gray, Y/N, Horny, Wet, PWP, English Major, Aspiring Novelist, Josh Hutcherson Whistle
Your friend has always been an avid reader. For as long as you can remember, you could always find her hunched in a corner with tech-neck and bloodshot eyes completely sucked into her phone with the brightness all the way down. Wondering what could possibly be more important than you recounting your night at Bajas, you decide to pry her precious tablet from her hands only to find something embarrassingly steamy and poorly written. Instead of spending her time reading pretentious classics or Pulitzer-worthy novels, your bestie's been binging cringey Wattpad smut. Feeling ashamed by the sheer number of grammatical errors in the latest installment of a “secretly fucking Draco Malfoy in an Astronomy Tower” story, your bestie's admitted to changing her major to English to hopefully contribute quality content for the online smut community.
However, this entire endeavor is proving to be a complete shock for xxPrincessWolfxx, or as she’s formally called, Kathleen. “Kathleen is a bright young pupil with much potential,” stated one of her professors, “Though I think she needs to hone in on her skills for something more… topical.” Kathleen’s Issue in Publishing professor highlights her amazing writing skills, but also her concern for her student’s extracurricular activities. “To this day I am unsure how she turned a class discussion about the nuances of typography in the various print editions of James Joyce’s Ulysses into a conversation about an online story she’d read where two enemies were forced to share a bed together.” Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 10:40 am to 11:30 am, Kathleen tortures (or as she sees it, enlightens) her fellow classmates with her Wattpad intellect. Students have even complained to the professor that it has gotten worse over the semester. This could be tied to her roommates making a group chat without her and reporting when she starts telling them about her writing, so they can make up excuses and leave, but that is only speculation for now.
Kathleen’s newest edition for the TikTok smut girls is a riff off the newest Hunger Games film, where Y/N is Lucy Gray. “It’s a really ambitious project. I’m rewriting the entire novel. No, I’m not copying it. I’m changing so much because I have to add ‘y/n’ and ‘h/c’ or ‘e/c’ whenever names, hair, or eye colors are mentioned. It’s so much work!” When asked about which authors she’s credited for her success, she went on to say, “I was inspired by all the greats that came before me. I mean, throwing up your auburn hair into a messy bun before catching your green orbs in the mirror and walking away into your forever life as One Direction’s sex slave… that's a modern classic.”
Be sure to check out Kathleen’s Hunger Games fanfiction, The Ditty of Tunebirds and Serpents before it's taken down for copyright violations.