It's the year of the girl, and some English majors have taken it upon themselves to act like it's also the year of the English major.
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While students rebel by taking the easiest math (@math for liberal arts) and science classes (hey baby bio) offered, they still have to pass. Since paying attention is not an option when phones exist, students are forced to rely on Crtl+F and Quizlet to get their homework done with four and a half minutes to spare before their 11:59 p.m. turn-ins.
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There’s truly nothing more exciting than the party planned for Friday night.
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As February takes its slow-burning start, everyone on campus seems to be getting settled into the new semester.
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According to ancient mythology, the rat got its number one place in the Chinese zodiac calendar by scamming its way to the Jade Emperor’s party first; arguably a story very similar to the way your former flame slipped into climax before you did every...single...time.
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There comes a time after every failed relationship when one player eventually moves on and meets someone new, no matter how many candle spell curses one tries to cast unto their future endeavors.
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As awards season inches towards its annual grand finale, the Internet’s proverbial torches and pitchforks have been raised towards the recently announced Oscar nominations.
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I know what you’re doing. You’re standing there, no...sitting. And I’m standing because I’m stronger than you.
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There’s nothing like a house party on a Friday night with the gang. The same old friends week after week, drinking Natty Light in the same dimly lit backyard; it’s truly magical.
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What professors know as “syllabus week,” a.k.a. the first week of school where the class goes over just how late they can get away with turning their papers in, students see as an entire week filled with shitty iterations of the same FSU-mandated policies and pre-games from hell.
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Three days in and “sylly week XD” not treating you like you thought it would?
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There’s nothing more exhilarating than going home for the holidays and watching the scale climb faster than that struggling GPA could ever dream of, making those resolutions feel absolutely farcical.
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It’s difficult to think back on what life was like while you two were together - a whopping 3.5 weeks ago.
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Cuffing season is well over and done with, leaving photos of girls with their hands on their significant others’ chests in its wake.
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The holiday season is the time for sharing. Some people share gifts, while others share notes of affection, but most importantly, some people share their Spotify Wrapped information for all 789 of their Instagram followers to see.
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The holiday season is in full swing, and that means that your qualified Astrological Defense Force at The Eggplant FSU is ready to offer some cosmic wisdom as you knock the year out.
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Everyone knows a person that will live, breath and die by the stance that “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie and should be respected as such.
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With exam season upon us, everything is quite literally going to shit.
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Every year a new guy will find a way to sneak his dirty little claws into an unsuspecting girlie’s heart.
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Just as you were getting settled into your aunt’s guest bedroom this past week for Thanksgiving break, there was a knock at the door.
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