Following Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Broadway Producers Beg Marvel to Let Them Have Another Shot

NEW YORK, NY — Following the record-breaking success of Marvel and Sony’s Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Broadway producers are once again asking Marvel for the opportunity to adapt the webhead for the stage. These requests come after what seems like a treacherous season for the Great White Way, as the outlook for Broadway has seemingly never been bleaker. In an attempt to combat the increasingly grim state of the American theater scene, producers have all begun to line up outside the office of Avi Arad, Marvel’s former CEO. But do they remember what happened last time?

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark was a misunderstood Broadway musical that ran from 2010 to 2014. It remains infamous for its reported $75 million financial losses, making it Broadway’s most expensive failure yet. Nearly everything that could have gone wrong with the production seemed to go wrong, from an often criticized score by Bono and The Edge, a divisive story overseen by director Julie Taymor, and a boot of injuries which seem negligible when compared to the stunts performed nightly at the Foxwoods Theater. 

When reminded of the original production's woes, many producers laugh them off. “I wouldn't have mishandled Spider-Man like that. In my hands it would be too big to fail,” said one. 

Another insisted, “Technology has advanced so much, we don't need to worry. If we can make a car fly in the Winter Garden theater, a swinging boy is nothing.” 

We reached out to professionals in the stage rigging and stunts industries, but none could comment, as they reportedly burst into laughter when presented with the idea of bringing Spider-Man back to Broadway. 

The Marvel frenzy doesn't extend only to Spider-Man, though. When met with pushback, several producers pivoted to other superhero-centric ideas, including a Doctor Strange themed magic show, a Guardians of the Galaxy inspired Electric Light Orchestra jukebox musical, and even an interactive Incredible Hulk-themed rage room and haunted house experience. 

Despite the increasingly outlandish proposals, producers remain convinced that a Marvel-backed production could be the lifeline Broadway desperately needs. With original productions struggling to compete for audiences, the promise of a recognizable superhero on a marquee seems to have become the industry's last remaining strategy. If all else fails, producers can always swing another $75 million from a wire and hope for the best.