Theater Student Hosts Tailgate for SLC’s Showing of Frozen


Tired of living in his own kingdom of ice-olation, theater student Joe Walley has announced he will host his own tailgate party before tonight’s showing of Frozen at the SLC. For the first time in forever, there won’t be any beer or frat stars at a college tailgate. Instead, there will be an overwhelming amount of Smirnoff Ice and theater kids. In order to avoid a repeat of the embarrassing events that occurred at his previous High School Musical tailgate, Joe suggests that those who attend put less emphasis on the drinks and more on Disney Pandora. “We just don’t want anyone to get too sloppy and say something stupid like ‘Adele Dazeem was so good in the Wizard of Oz’…that would just be fucking embarrassing,”

Joe has been perfecting the art of the unnecessary tailgate for years. “Some people are good at eating Chipotle burritos in one sitting, others are good at pretending they enjoy dubstep; I’m good at tailgating Disney movies. It’s my life. I’ve stopped going to my Tuesday and Thursday classes because I still need to perfect my Sven impression.” said Joe as he proceeded to make his best reindeer face. When asked what activities will be going on at the tailgate, his face lit up and he said, “I’m gonna have a build your own snowman station!” Then he smirked and mumbled “…it doesn’t have to be a snowman.”

If you’re the kind of person whose idea of turning up is casually sipping on drinks that are 5.5% alcohol, and you like Idina Menzel’s version of Let It Go more than Demi Lovato’s, you definitely belong at Joe Walley’s Frozen tailgate. “I really committed to this tailgate. I paid $9.99 to avoid ads on Pandora in honor of our queen: Idina. It would mean so much if a bunch of students came to this tailgate… like if Jameis Winston came oh my god I would feel like Arendelle’s King!”

“I feel like this is a really important movie for everyone to watch because of like feminism, and I personally want to belt out Let It Go without my roommates judging me,” claims Joe. “I’m also tired of watching my shitty torrented copy by myself.”