Pope Leo XIV Announces He Is Giving Up "Broccoli and Other Gross Vegetables” for Lent

In a public statement made on Ash Wednesday, the new Chicagoan Pope, Leo XIV, announced that he is giving up "broccoli and other gross vegetables” for Lent. Eggplant reporters on the scene in Rome were able to get some info from him one on one. “You know, with everything going on in the world and shi, I just really don’t care anymore. Everything is so absolutely fucked and I think life is a cruel joke so I am going to treat this 40 day fast as a way to stop eating gross vegetables. My mother forced me to eat gross shit like broccoli and I have always resented her for it. Go White Sox, I guess.” He then abruptly walked away and started blasting Chief Keef in his Vatican brand headphones.