You live in Collegetown, and you have a class over a mile away in the College of Medicine. What outfit are you wearing to class? Shorts? A tank top? Floridians choose something you might not expect.

(Guest Article By Yep, Charles Manson)

UMiami, UF, and UCF students occupy air mattresses and couches across the great capital city, but what happens when they refuse to leave?

Dude, you didn’t know? We saw that. Like, all of us. Yeah, man. That really embarrassing thing you did. You know the one. I’m really sorry, man.

Vee Vill rid this city of the evil of g-garlic…and all other abhorrent things,” Dailey told reporters in a midnight press conference.

Muahahahahahahahahahahaa! Welcome, dearest reader, to my mortifyingly spooktastical article that is filled with ghouls, goblins, monsters and creatures alike!

Local H3 superfans Henry Roberts and Sandra Bricks were devastated as their costume plans had been completely shattered, “He didn’t just betray Hila, He didn’t just betray his kids… he betrayed the fans”

These requests come after what seems like a treacherous season for the Great White Way, as the outlook for Broadway has seemingly never been bleaker.