(Guest Article By Yep, Charles Manson)

Neutralizing your karma is perfect for those who don’t want to reincarnate in the next life as a shitty little bug, but also don’t want to get tooo close to Nirvana and transcend the wheel of birth and death quite yet.

Dude, you didn’t know? We saw that. Like, all of us. Yeah, man. That really embarrassing thing you did. You know the one. I’m really sorry, man.

In an attempt to stand out amongst the chaotic sea of Talloween festivities,Wonkytown has decided to raise both the minimum age and cover for their parties.

Vee Vill rid this city of the evil of g-garlic…and all other abhorrent things,” Dailey told reporters in a midnight press conference.

Muahahahahahahahahahahaa! Welcome, dearest reader, to my mortifyingly spooktastical article that is filled with ghouls, goblins, monsters and creatures alike!

Local H3 superfans Henry Roberts and Sandra Bricks were devastated as their costume plans had been completely shattered, “He didn’t just betray Hila, He didn’t just betray his kids… he betrayed the fans”

These requests come after what seems like a treacherous season for the Great White Way, as the outlook for Broadway has seemingly never been bleaker.