MatPat Reveals Pregnancy During Golden Torch Lecture Feature, Springtrap Declared the Father

On Sept. 29, United States Senator Matthew Patrick, more commonly addressed by his YouTube moniker, MatPat, visited FSU’s Ruby Diamond Hall as part of CDU’s Golden Torch Lecture Series. 

Attendees of the lecture reported he had a certain glow to him, which at first was attributed to his sheer joy in selecting audience members to analyze images of Luigi’s dick print (which he claimed was for research purposes). However, this was quickly disproven as he stood up from his seat, requesting a moment of silence from the audience, as he had “a very important announcement to make.” 

“This has been a long time coming,” he declared to the FSU student body. “As you know, I’m already a proud father of one. But now, it’s time I introduce you to our brand new member of the family.” At this point, he unzipped his jacket to reveal a supple baby bump, concealed beneath the layers of added clothing.

Naturally, the audience erupted in shock. Something like this had only been heard of in Five Nights at Freddy’s shitpost lore. However, in an even more terrifying twist of fate, he continued, “We’re so excited to share this with you. ‘We’ being Springtrap and I, of course!” 

The Eggplant tried to gather some quotes after those absolute bombs were dropped in rapid succession, but after the event, most attendees were too harrowed to offer any comments. “I just don’t even know how that’s, like, possible,” said student Colin Nichols. “How does that even work anatomically? How is he gonna birth it? Is it gonna be half-human, half-animatronic? Humanatronic?”

Senator Patrick did not disclose his due date, but the general consensus is that he is halfway through his second trimester. These guesses stem from the prominence of his baby bump, but that’s just a theory. An MPreg Theory. Until then, the public can only speculate when Little Springpat will be welcomed into the world.