Report: Tallahassee Komodo Dragon Population Still Low

A report released by the Tallahassee Komodo Society indicates that through the 2025-26 fiscal year, the population of Komodo dragons in the area remains zero. Tallahassee has been Komodo dragon-free since it was established in 1825. 

“Every year we scour the entirety of Tallahassee in search of these beautiful creatures, and we’ve yet to find a single one,” said Jay Merker, president of the Tallahassee Komodo Society. It remains completely unlikely that the giant lizards could be found in Tallahassee on account of their total inability to inhabit the city. “We thought we had one back in ‘17; turned out to be a mangy poodle. Wrangling it was still pretty badass, though,” Merker reminisced. 

Tallahassee locals are becoming increasingly concerned regarding the Komodo Society’s inability to produce results, despite the organization receiving a yearly budget of 4.5 million dollars towards tracking and controlling the town’s Komodo population. This figure is second only to the Tallahassee Polar Bear Society, which has seen shockingly similar results. 

Merker is holding out hope, however, “I’m really thinking this could be our year. Year of the Komodo in China right now.” The Eggplant staff would like to clarify that it is currently the year of the horse.