There are seemingly endless options of the infamous White Claw drink: Black Cherry, Grapefruit and Raspberry, to name a few.
Read More
With the new school year officially in full swing, one can only hope that the universe is on their side. As tests, papers, and projects begin to loom in the distance, FSU students can rest easy knowing that the experienced and reliable astrological defense force here at The Eggplant FSU is here to provide the utmost cosmic guidance for the days to come. This September, get ready for some twists and turns as everyone attempts to navigate the most pointless month of the year.
Read More
For Floridians, the days and weeks leading up to a major hurricane are a perplexing time.
Read More
Like Winter, the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones has arrived, and there are still many who haven't seen a single episode besides Sunday night’s premiere but still desperately want to crack “Winter Is Coming” jokes just about as much as Jon Snow wants to bone his sister.
Read More
It was a typical Tallahassee Friday night for FSU senior Amanda Bagans when she was hit with an all-consuming, earth-shattering thought: “should I get wine-drunk this weekend?”
Read More
At long last, Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report on the two-year investigation into potential criminal conspiracy between Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign and the Russian government is out for all to read.
Read More
Not to sound too much like your normie mom on your nightly phone call, but gosh darnit, this year is truly flying the heck by. Our tried and true astrologers at The Eggplant FSU are here to offer you the interstellar guidance needed to take on finals season like the cosmic powerhouse you are.
Read More
Just in case you needed another reminder that we’re already a quarter of the way through 2019 and are steadily approaching ultimate demise as time continues to escape us, Twitter tells me that March Madness is almost over!
Read More
While the resurgence of Jonas Brother hysteria has taken social media by storm, one of contemporary history’s most pressing arguments has found its way back to the forefront of public consciousness: which JoBro is the hottest?
Read More
No, it’s not just you - the past two months were indeed a blur, reminding us of other life experiences that happened in a flash like prom or your first time watching Titanic (who knew it was three hours long?).
Read More
While the strange ongoings of everyday Florida seem commonplace here, perhaps a man marrying his an alligator is startling to those from out of state.
Read More
Hopping into an Uber after a near-death experience and pretending like your entire life isn't in shambles is a millennial rite of passage.
Read More
Whether or not you spent Valentine’s Day on a minefield of a date at the Olive Garden or nestled deep into the body-shaped indent of your mattress as you picked the outer chocolate mold off a strawberry, we are all relieved it’s over.
Read More
It’s V-Day once again, and while hearts and chocolate boxes are overflowing, the pea-sized brains of every man who ruined your Intro to Philosophy class by playing devil's advocate are fired up at this corporate sham of a holiday.
Read More
With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, it’s time to prepare for lovebirds certifying their affection for one another by spending their hard-earned dollars on custom rose bouquets and CVS chocolates teetering on the line of staleness.
Read More
It’s easy to understand why a show as wholesome as Tidying Up has drawn massive audiences.
Read More
After what felt like the longest month on human record, the 31-day free trial of 2019 has finally come to an end.
Read More
Thank you – it lets me know you care.
Read More
Since the Ted Bundy Tapes' recent release on Netflix, everyone has suddenly become interested in discussing the panty-soaking truth that everyone and their horny mothers aren’t ready for: it seems everyone and their mothers are wet for one of the world’s most notorious serial killers, no matter how much brunette blood was on his hands or who he voted for in the 1988 election.
Read More
As the 34th day of the current government shutdown rears its ugly head, 800,000 federal employees are struggling to feed their families and pay their rent.
Read More