Last Tuesday evening, sitting in an office decorated by a coked out Uncle Sam fetishist, Freedom Caucus Chair Jim Jordan of Ohio watched the election results come in with a blank look on his face. 

With a strong dedication to ruining lives and truly pissing people off, major media outlets have moved to do the psychologically impossible: skipping the first four stages of grief and heading right into a full acceptance of a Trump administration, regardless of how much it will endanger the lives of millions of Americans.

To our loyal, diverse and passionate readers, 

After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday. After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday. After a long, grueling and just really fucked up election season that has definitely taken at least five years off everyone’s lives, the nation let out a unanimous sigh of relief as the results of this year’s presidential race were announced on Tuesday.

Wow, I bet that nerd Nate Silver didn’t see this one coming! >:)

Late Sunday afternoon, nine-year-old Ralph Watson wandered down the incense aisle of Whole Foods, leaving his mother, father and sister behind while they shopped for an organic Thanksgiving turducken and a ceramic serving bowl imbued with posi vibes.

With the abundance of scandals plaguing the 2016 election cycle, it’s impossible to talk about Hillary Clinton without discussing her Damn E-Mails™, but there is still more that the media and the Clinton campaign are not sharing.

Presidential candidate and constant receiver/transmitter of static electricity Bernie Sanders recently gave a speech in Portland during which a tiny bird landed on his podium. This was a small, cute incident with no political significance. So unsurprisingly, it has become a major focal point . . .

Following Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant (R) signing a bill into law legalizing discrimination against the LBGTQ+ community, FSU President John Thrasher has jumped on the bandwagon of bigotry and signed his own bill into law, effective immediately: . . .

On Saturday, February 20th, a Donald Trump victory in S.C. coupled with a single-digit performance led Jeb(!) Bush to suspend his campaign indefinitely. Governor Bush was able to maintain poise during his concession speech, but upon returning home . . .