New Firework Invented That Only Veterans Can Hear

In a revolutionary technological breakthrough, a new firework from the infamous X-TREME TRAUMA BOMBA FIREWORX Co. has hit the market. Branded under the label “The Silencer” in early preparation for Fourth of July festivities, the firework is marketed as emitting a decibel frequency only veterans’ ears can pick up.

“It seemed to be the only viable option,” commented Alisha Bradley, one of the entrepreneurial powerhouses behind the business venture and president of the HOA of her well-endowed suburb in Illinois. “We figured the vets would already be used to the sound by this point. As long as my dog can’t hear it, it’s doing a lot more good than harm.” 

When asked about any additional tests conducted with the product, Bradley argued that the name of the firework itself was very on the nose, so no real trial runs were needed as “it’s kinda obvious what it’s marketed to do.” The Silencer is alleged to hit shelves in retail locations across the nation in early to mid-June, assuming the firework clears none of the required regulatory testing beforehand.