Samurai Doesn’t Study the Blade; Fails Blade Exam

KANAZAWA, JAPAN – In a move that has left the warrior community puzzled and outraged, local samurai Tokugawa Musashi failed his blade exam after declining to study for it. “I kinda thought I could just wing it,” Musashi admitted. “It’s a big stick with a sharp edge. That should be pretty intuitive, right?” He intends to re-enroll at the Kitsuki School of Samurai-ing next semester, but opposition from the administration may prove to be problematic. “Centuries of warriors have come before him, and not a single one decided they were too good to study the blade. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to our culture,” said Grand Daimyo Oda Shimuda. Other students enrolled in the class said that Musashi asked if there was a quizlet beforehand, showed up to his exam fifteen minutes late, and asked which end was the pointy end.