James Gunn Preemptively Fired By Marvel Again

BURBANK, CA – In an impromptu press conference Wednesday, Marvel Studios CEO Kevin Feige announced that the superhero brand intends to fire James Gunn again, before he could even join back. The announcement was part of a creative rollout aimed at “keeping losers and dorks free from our roster of ballers and pimps.”

“James Gunn has done wonderful things for the Marvel brand,” Feige said. “He’s pioneered one of our most iconic franchises, and breathed life into characters that millions of people know and love. However, if that bitch steps foot near our offices, I’ll have Don “War Machine In Real Life” Cheadle walk him down without a second thought.” He then flipped double middle fingers and what appeared to be a Marvel gang sign.

“I don’t understand,” said James Gunn in a black-and-white Twitter video. “I didn’t even apply to go back to Marvel. You can’t fire someone before they join a company. It doesn’t even make sense!” He then wiped his tears with a sketchbook doodle of Condiment King, and quickly stuffed away a first draft of a Krypto-focused film trilogy.