Ed Sheeran Enjoys Vacation in Tel Aviv Following Shane Gillis’ SNL Monologue

Inside sources at the Eggplant have told us that Ed Sheeran has been seen relaxing on Tel Aviv beaches, his pale skin burning in the sun as he relishes Shane Gillis’ disastrous performance during last week's SNL opening. 

​Sheeran has been facing some online criticism for his removal of Macklemore from his US tour following the rapper's open display of support for the Palestinian people. White millennials, now being directly affected by the Middle Eastern conflict, rallied behind Macklemore and shared some strong words about the ginger musician. 

​This controversy was recently eclipsed by conservative-presenting comedian Shane Gillis’ remarks about women in his SNL monologue. Despite Gillis appearing to have rarely stepped foot in a gym, he felt empowered to comment on the ‘whorish’ appearance of women who would sooner go through the gruelling process of cancelling their membership than have to interact with him. Excluding middle-aged divorced dads with beer guts who yell at their TV from a sweat-stained recliner, most individuals felt his comment was offensive and took to social media to criticise the comic.

Hearing this news, Sheeran jumped with glee and boarded his private jet en route to Tel Aviv. Currently, the musician can be seen drinking pina coladas the same shade as his skin tone and watching missiles fall from the sky. Sources say that, upon his arrival, Benjamin Netanyahu secured a nice fence facing the Gaza Strip for Sheeran to sit on while he writes his next album lamenting the struggles that come with being a white millionaire man.