Report: Boris Johnson Actually Reanimated Margaret Thatcher Corpse

TALLAHASSEE, FL — On Sep. 22, former U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson visited FSU to deliver a speech titled “Saving the West.” Much to the dismay of a Boris-hungry crowd of young conservatives, a cryogenic chamber unleashed the puppeteered corpse of the Iron Lady. 

“It was horrific, her rancid body dancing around the stage as a loudspeaker blared right-wing talking points,” described one student working on the event. 

More confounding than a British politician launching a narrow-minded love letter to the United States, was the speech becoming a Frankenstein-esque marionette show starring the one and only Margaret Thatcher. “They just played old speeches of hers on the microphone, they didn’t really have to edit much,” an observer told The Eggplant. 

The theatrics of the event shocked many observers, but still, many students had mixed reactions to the event. Some praised the event as a moment of ease in a tense U.S. political climate, while others were upset that U.K. politicians aren’t as bigoted as those in the U.S. However, all students were left with the same question: Who’s gonna clean up all of the ‘Thatcher juice’ left on stage?