BREAKING: Your Friend Seen Walking Freshmen to Their Dorms.

Over the weekend, tragedy struck. When it was discovered that your friend, yes, your friend that you are thinking of right now, was walking freshmen back to their dorms late at night, specifically in the Dorman-Deviney area. Not like in a cute way either; in a very gross and predatory way. It’s really uncool and extremely messed up. Not like that wholesome dude on Instagram who rides a scooter to get people home safe. Your friend is 22 years old.  When asked to comment, your friend replied, “WAHHHHHH WAAAAAHH. GOO GOO GA GA GA. I AM A BABY GOO GOO GA GA. I NEED MILK WAWAH WAH.”