The start of the semester has been a rough one for Florida State University. Between a controversial presidential search, a botched new bus system, and those stupid fucking helmets, nothing has seemed to go right. Chief among these problems however is the nightmare that has become parking on campus.
Read MoreAs the FSU student body pretends to know and care what is happening with the presidential search, two names have emerged as top candidates for the position: interim president Dr. Garnett Stokes and republican senator John Thrasher. Both candidates bring their own unique qualifications to the table.
Read MoreFSU advisor Mary Belton has had a crazy beginning of fall semester. Between maintaining her hourly 30 minute coffee break, and sexting FSU presidential candidate John Thrasher, finding time to actually advise students has been difficult.
Read MoreAs FSU students returned to campus this fall, they were greeted with the sudden reality that the familiar bus routes everyone has come to know and love were completely redone in an effort to show that a presidential search isn’t the only thing FSU administration can fuck up.
Read More"Weed."- Ally Spencer
Read MoreMost college students dread the icebreaker questions that signify the first day of class, but for FSU junior Stacy Chiles, it was the day she had been waiting for all summer long.
Read MoreFollowing last year’s highly controversial system for obtaining student tickets, Florida State University announced today a complete overhaul of the Loyalty Points program. It’s all part of athletic director Stan Wilcox’s new plan to weed out the phonies from the real fans.
Read MoreFor the first time in the 2014 season it's game day for Florida State.
Read MoreIn response to recent events across the country, Florida State University announced today that they are beginning an initiative to heavily arm every RA on campus.
Read MoreFSU History Professor Barry Crockard has spent all summer planning the biggest party of the semester.
Read MoreThe Eggplant is looking for writers, editors, and production assistants (video, sound, lights) for the fall semester.
Read MoreAs any sorority member or potential member will tell you, Panhellenic recruitment is no joke. And nobody is laughing less than current Rush-ee Lilly McBride.
Read MoreIncoming freshmen Spencer Greene spent his first night on campus disappointed and confused after quickly realizing that the college experience is nothing like how it is portrayed on Pornhub.
Read MoreAfter a strenuous day of moving in their freshmen daughter Lexi Higgins, FSU alumni Janet and Bill Higgins have decided to take another whack at college life altogether.
Read MoreAfter an embarrassing season last year, UF has finally taken down the Tebow shrines and accepted that 2008 was a long time ago and football just might not be its thing anymore.
Read MoreThis summer has been a busy one for the people of Florida State University. In between pretending to care about soccer and trying to keep Jameis Winston away from Publix, the university has also been tasked with trying to find a new president.
Read More2:15 PM: Receive text from that one hit or miss friend reading “LETS GET TRASHY TONIGHT Y’ALL”
Read MoreRecent high school grad Colby Jones has spent all summer preparing for his new life at FSU.
Read Morehis morning, President Obama announced that in lieu of the United States’ embarrassing World Cup elimination, the 4th of July is now canceled.
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