Lake Ella Ducks Test Their Luck, Start Requesting Gluten Free Pita Bread Instead

Summer is just around the corner! While the season change usually just means a temperature shift from ‘semi-uncomfortable’ to ‘it feels like the inside of a mouth,’ some Tallahassee residents take this time to indulge in some R&R at the beautiful, not at all gentrified Lake Ella. Whether you’re watching an $8 Big Easy Snowball drip down your arm or avoiding your ex-boyfriend as he makes out with his new girl on a bench (FUCK YOU, BLAINE!!!), one thing is certain when visiting this Monroe Street hot spot: the ducks will refuse anything that isn’t vegan, gluten-free, unprocessed pita bread from the organic aisle.

Read More
The Eggplant FSU
Florida Senator Sponsors Bill That Hikes Tuition, Places Baudelaire Orphans in His Care

In the wake of the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Trump campaign, and following the tragic fire which killed the parents of the three Baudelaire orphans, one snivelling state senator is trying to kill two birds with one stone, which is unlike how he usually kills birds: slowly in his basement while laughing hysterically and to completion.In the wake of the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Trump campaign, and following the tragic fire which killed the parents of the three Baudelaire orphans, one snivelling state senator is trying to kill two birds with one stone, which is unlike how he usually kills birds: slowly in his basement while laughing hysterically and to completion.

Read More
The Eggplant FSU