In a surprising turn of events for the man who has spent most of his adult life insisting to various intimate partners that size does not matter, the current administration began what is now tied for the longest government shutdown on record.
Read MoreIt’s common knowledge that if you're a Florida resident attending FSU, you're guaranteed to have run-ins with some of the worst people imaginable, including those from your own high school.
Read MoreAs the New Year kicks off, thousands of people are pretending like 2018 never happened as they swear off drinking and spend hundreds on new Lululemon in pursuit of a bikini bod by Spring Break.
Read MoreIcebreaker season has reared its ugly head once again and students across the country will be expected to stand in front of a classroom and talk about what they did over break besides lick Cheeto dust off their grimy little paws.
Read MoreDue to the trauma that has been the entire year of 2018, it's about time everyone pretends to care about the holiday season through the escape of poorly produced feel-good movies that have no substance whatsoever.
Read MoreUpon being invited to Julie Gomez’s house party, Heather Moskowitz was ready to force her liver to be above max filtering capacity and live the rich wine mom lifestyle every sorority girl that came to college to meet a man is one day hoping to achieve.
Read MoreIf Tallahassee has taught us anything this past week it's that baby, it's cold outside. It’s about time to snuggle up with someone special out by an open fire and remember that the holidays are the perfect time to get your romance on.
Read MoreAs November is welcomed with a frigid 75-degree windchill, it’s evident that fall is finally starting to rear its nippy little head in Tallahassee, giving everyone a reason to pull out their turtlenecks and sip on a hot beverage.
Read MoreTypically, the general male population found on college campuses maintains a delicate balance between acne ridden boys with voices that still aren't able to hit those deep, sexy bass notes and men that look like they have a wife, 3 kids and a full-time job selling health insurance.
Read MoreToday is election day and there’s no better way for students to flex on their friends than by letting them know how politically active they are by performing the sexiest act of all: voting.
Read MoreCollege libraries have always been paramount for providing students with resources needed to get through all-nighters filled with hours of procrastination and senseless scrolling through the deepest parts of Wikipedia.
Read MoreA majority of the student population at FSU knows what the end of October means: a time to drink away the rest of the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving break without having any meltdowns.
Read MoreThere are certain inevitabilities with sharing a bathroom with a suitemate: you’re always expecting to be locked out, counting down the days until they’re going to have painfully audible shower sex or even finding them passed out with physics defying vomit.
Read MoreTalloweekend – a quirky and unique combination of Tallahassee, Halloween and weekend – has reared its nasty little head around once again and you’ve managed to black out at the seven parties you hit "maybe" to on Facebook.
Read MoreMonotony is one of the most challenging forces with which college students must combat during their first steps into the excruciating experience that is adulthood. No one knows this better than the elusive meal-planless freshman, whose diet subsists entirely on the cheapest, unhealthiest, sodium-est staple food that every American loves: instant ramen.
Read MoreWhile students come back from their days under the Tuscan sun delightfully freckle-faced and blessed with a rich, golden tan, most will realize they have fallen victim to at least one of these common assaults. To those who are currently coming to this realization, it’s vital to remember you might be able to say “who needs that bitch?” in two languages now.
Read More‘Tis finally the season for students to exchange their Birkenstocks and Chubbies for some leggings and a “vintage” FSU sweatshirt purchased on Etsy because October is upon us once again, with both your grades and the temperature celebrating by going down on everyone
Read MoreFor the students of FSU, October is the time to get spooky with pumpkin socks that have been out of style since 2011, enjoy the marginal difference in the insufferable heat and, most importantly, reconsider the depth of their relationship with their roommate.
Read MoreWhat’s that cucumbery-fresh aroma you detect on this fine Friday morning, you ask? That would be the sweet smell of success with, of course, the tiniest dash of permanent damage to your lungs.
Read MoreWalking into class 50 minutes late, she ceremoniously looks the professor right in the eye as she flops into the middle seat in the immediate front row and rips an intense cucumber hit from her vape. Carson has established enough animalistic dominance to make any sane person shiver.
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