With the end of the semester quickly approaching, students are diligently working to survive classes with the least possible amount of effort. Students in CLP4134 -- Somewhat Abnormal Psychology -- have been fishing through their old, ugly pairs of cargo shorts from high school in search of loose, expired Adderall just in time for their final research paper. Seconds before the clock hit 11:59 PM on Tuesday night, dexterous hands maneuvered around cluttered desktops to select well-written academic papers to Canvas. One student, however, lost this game of file Minesweeper.
“I was super delusional from pulling a self-hate induced all-nighter in Strozier. Somehow I managed to navigate to the folder on my desktop titled ‘Childhood Modeling’ and selected 'cool_ass_baby_leotard.jpg' for my Canvas file submission,” lamented sophomore Krista Roth as she scrolled through her perfect research paper that never got to see the light of day. “I’m worried about my grade, scholarship status and humility after this tragic incident,” the sophomore shared frantically deleting other embarrassing photos that somehow got attached to the email to her professor. “Out of all of them, why did I have to pick the baton twirling one? If I submitted the cute pictures of me riding a small pony while wearing a cowgirl outfit, I bet I would've at least gotten a B-.”
"This isn't the first time this has happened. I've got an entire folder called 'Accidental Canvas Files' that's filled with embarrassing photos uploaded from over the years. We've got your awkwardly posed family photos where everyone is in matching plaid, ‘before’ and 'after' workout photos, you name it," chuckled Professor Rita Monteiro while showing a JPEG of a former student’s face Photoshopped onto Justin Bieber’s body. “I don’t feel bad. These goofballs did this to themselves. That’s what you get with cluttered home screens, vaguely named files and a hideous childhood, sweaty,” Monteiro retorted while swiftly deleting Roth’s email.
While Roth may not be the luckiest of students, she is certainly not alone. After Roth's 37 emails and 56 phone calls to Canvas management about website layout and navigation issues, the company is working toward making the site more user friendly. The off-brand BlackBoard will now have a brand new feature that sends out an automated email after every single homework submission to apologize for any embarrassing photo that may have injured your professor's corneas.