When Donald Trump issued an Executive Order placing a travel ban on several predominantly Muslim nations, the ACLU and justices across the nation put in hard hours to defend the liberties of citizens at home and abroad. During this emotional and turbulent time for minorities and Muslims, liberal whites have taken to the streets to make sure everyone knew they could still kick your ass at Harry Potter trivia while ignoring real accounts of oppression against minorities.
Trump loves Harry Potter and it hurt his feelings to see young white millennials his age out in the street comparing him and his actions to the bad guys. He got a call from Alex Jones who told him, “These bozos don’t care about anything but their nerd cred and lookin’ good in front of other geekteens. They don’t like to think or empathize, so just throw out some fantasy buzzwords.” The next day, Trump held a press conference in which he reframed his attack on Muslims by announcing that, “we must not allow these Deatheaters to enter Hogwarts, because if they do then John Snow and Ygritte might not make out at the end of the second season of Stranger Things.” A Muslim in the audience tried to speak up but was shushed by a white girl in a “Snape is Daddy” T-shirt, who whispered, “Let’s hear him out, this sounds Sirius.”
Trump continued, “Furthermore, we will be opening three new prison facilities in Guantanamo Bay just like Azkaban, or the space prison from Guardians of the Galaxy, I dunno, whatever helps y’all ignore the reality of these injustices and their victims and continue to equate these big strokes of my racist pen with the fairytale garbage you like.”
A reporter then asked how Trump would pay for the border wall and two new titanic prisons. “The Sith will pay for the wall!” Shouted the vibrating mob of white liberals at the Syrian reporter, as one dropped their Shepard Fairey American flag hijab sign and pulled up a new, equally inappropriate and problematic one that read, “White Privilege? Pfffbt, more like White Ranger!!!” Donald Trump then turned from the podium and went back to his lair, leaving the Walking Dead fans to do his bidding.