Was Being Republican the Worst Thing About Ted Bundy? Your Girlfriend Thinks So

Since the Ted Bundy Tapes' recent release on Netflix, everyone has suddenly become interested in discussing the panty-soaking truth that everyone and their horny mothers aren’t ready for: it seems everyone and their mothers are wet for one of the world’s most notorious serial killers, no matter how much brunette blood was on his hands or who he voted for in the 1988 election.

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The Eggplant FSU
Friend That Never Binged ‘Master of None’ Feeling Inappropriately Self-Righteous Right About Now

On Saturday, Aziz Ansari became Hollywood’s latest man on the chopping block for sexual misconduct allegations. Much to his chagrin, wearing a “Time’s Up!” pin to the Emmys and writing half-assed jokes mocking men that disrespect women weren’t enough for his part-time feminist agenda to keep him safe from the emboldened grips of people who actually understand what it means to, you know, support and protect women.

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The Eggplant FSU
Gold-Hoarding Dragon Pleased With Tax Bill

In its latest attempt to please its reptilian donors, the GOP is set to pass a tax bill with the lyrics to Shane McMahon’s “Here Comes the Money” hand scribbled in the margins of all 479 pages to ensure that future generations are buried beneath a swelling avalanche of debt.

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The Eggplant FSU