Domestic Product Unsure What It Did To Be So Goddamn Gross

For years, news sources have reported on “gross domestic product.” It seems as though Domestic Product was never given a chance to prove itself otherwise. In the name of unbiased journalism and telling stories from both sides, The Eggplant conducted an interview with Domestic Product — one that revealed the harsh truth of media defamation.  “I’m so much more than gross,” Domestic Product said, teary-eyed. “I travel… I invest… and by God, I shower.” When so much of their lives are in the public eye, it seems the general population finds it rather easy to forget that celebrities are people too. Parasocial relationships have been on the rise and getting out of hand for the last ten years, and Domestic Product is no exception. Sources close to Product beg for mercy on their loved one, and ask for the general public to understand the weight of their words.