With the annual deathmatch between the University of Florida and Florida State University looming over everyone's heads like the finals that will shortly subtract valuable years off of our sad, debt-filled lives, it’s clear that there is a rare sense of school spirit making its way through campus.
Read MoreWhat’s worse than trying to get back into your dull, rash-inducing routine? Doing so while dealing with a roommate who will not shut up about their overexposed Roman Holiday.
Read MoreYou’ve been lying to your relatives for months about all the internships you’ve applied to and the only company to ask for an interview is the Wild Birds Unlimited in your hometown.
Read MoreFace it, it’s already the middle of the semester. Your faith in a higher power escaped the building the second you heard your professor invent a mandatory “teamwork-oriented” project in the last two seconds of class last week. Everything, and we do mean everything, has gone tits up on the Seminole Express.
Read MoreAre you an aggressive libertarian? Are you looking to incorporate your perceived political martyrdom into your everyday life? Look no further! These 10 personal fragrances are sure to give you an extra pep in your self-indulgent freedom-fighting, gun-toting step.
Read MoreThis year’s H3N2 virus is a vaccine defying war horse.
Read MoreAre you one of The Eggplant's devoted stans, tweeting "sjkdsjkdsjksd" and "delete this or you'll be hearing from my daddy and he’s a lawyer" after we publish an article?
Read MoreBitcoin and its cousins have an unstable future, but that doesn’t mean your intellectual superiority needs to suffer.
Read MoreHappy New Year, Seminoles! We hope you survived your holiday celebrations, which most likely included at least 73 relatives asking about your post-graduation plans, an openly sexist cousin and increasingly upsetting questions about your romantic life.
Read MoreWe’ve all been there. Your group of besties from home who are really only besties because you need people to drink with on breaks decided to do a gift exchange and you had the misfortune of drawing the name of the person who always compliments your hair but once tripped you in the cafeteria in middle school.
Read More"But of course, there is one UF graduate that has dedicated his political career to doing just that, amongst other unforgivable things such as denying the impact of humans on climate change and hating disco music.
Read MoreThe invention of pesto has been regarded throughout history as Italy’s crowning achievement, narrowly beating out other Italian achievements such as the first electric battery, the piano and the phrase “bada bing bada boom.”Only a very silly man would dare to criticize delicious pesto.
Read MoreSince its debut several weeks ago, those lacking the wit required for captivating conversation have seized the opportunity to fill every lull with an exclamation of “Have you watched 13 Reasons Why?”
All too often, when they receive a response in the negative, a look of horror presides over their face and they fall to their knees, wondering what one could possibly be doing in the place of watching an entire season of aggressively mediocre teenage acting. To make things easier to understand for that unfortunate bunch, I have compiled a handy list of activities more pleasurable, and less problematic, than watching that damn show.
Read MoreStill wondering where to go for Spring Break? Here’s our list of places you MUST see before they are destroyed by our own hubris.
Read MoreIt may seem like the clothes you wore while The Sun peed golden sunshine all over you are goners but there’s actually a lot to be done with the sweat you wring out of ‘em Saturday night after you realize that there’s no fucking way you’re making it to Coliseum.
Read MoreBack in the day, the REAL ragers were when everyone would drink warm milk and play backgammon while Louis Armstrong played on vinyl.
Read MoreMind: blown.
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