With the month of September coming to an end, it's safe to assume that most students on campus have tried to join at least one club and ended up leaving or being told to "try out again next semester."
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After FSU's Food and Drug Administration finally agreed to hear the cries of our hungry, tired student body, we will no longer be forced to chase down the infamous Stake n’ Shake food truck in hopes of munchin’ on some temperate hamburgers, strangely soft fries or even sip on the ghost of spoiled milkshakes’ past.
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In a surprisingly liberal turn of events this week, the administration at Florida State has decided to provide access to emotional support cats for every freshman that hits a poorly-rolled blunt once at a dorm pregame and immediately throws up or becomes convinced that the FBI is stationed outside of Landis Hall with heat-detecting cameras.
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Spelling errors happen all the time: in simple texts to friends, important papers that are worth 98% of your grade and even in your resume, which is definitely the reason why that internship didn't hire you.
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Few feelings can compete with the amount of exhilaration and euphoria that comes with watching your football team barely achieve their first victory of the season against an unknown team they’d already paid an indecent amount of money to face off against.
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If you've thought of parking literally anywhere on campus after 9 am, you must either hate yourself or are prepared to enter into a deathmatch with dozens of other drivers in any of the small, already filled parking garages.
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FSU's community found itself in shambles after yesterday's heartbreaking game, where we were not tragically beaten by a team with a mascot probably named after the Hokey Pokey, but by our own offensive players.
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Good morning to every frat boy who has risen from the dead after puking their brains out last night and is now officially ready to rally for today's game! Today marks a historic day for FSU as our football team plays their first game with Willie Taggart as head coach.
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With the start of football season reminding us that the only real worth this school has lies in our ability to toss around a giant Cadbury egg for four hours at a time, the hype surrounding FSU’s legendary concert has begun to sweep through campus.
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Starting college can be scary, even if you didn’t attend a virtual high school like that one kid from Queer Eye. Luckily for you, the super hot, cool and well-adjusted writers on our staff have compiled helpful tips for getting through your first week of school!
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Life is full of regrets isn’t it?
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This week, artists graduating from the BFA and MFA programs will be displaying their final works as students in the FSU Museum of Fine Arts.
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Everyone has that one friend with a seemingly irrelevant position within SGA that always seems to “know a guy” and get better internships than you. In the past, friends of student government members have just assumed it was because of rich parents or Greek life or both; however, FSU’s proudest tattletale and independent SGA candidate John Walker has brought to light some serious accusations that link the pseudo-secret society Burning Spear to various cases of corruption within local and state politics.
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A new leak earlier this week revealed some interesting information regarding the inspiration behind several buildings on campus.
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After a long Wednesday night of dreams about panda bear pillow fights, a woozy President John Thrasher awoke to find himself strapped to a garnet and gold chariot hastily pulled by a masked Renegade.
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Even back in 20,018 BC, one of the biggest yabba dabba don'ts of Prehistoric Florida State University was going against the Inter-Fraternity Caveman Council's strict rules.
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In recent days, the President’s Advisory Panel on Namings and Recognitions has encouraged input from the Florida State student body regarding the potential renaming or removal of several campus landmarks, including Francis Eppes Hall and the Francis Eppes statue, both of which honor a man who esteemed historians have classified as “an unparalleled dick.”
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In January, FSU appointed a new Dean of Freakshit in the wake of students criticizing campus activities for being exclusively for "normies and oldies."
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In yesterday’s SGA election, the Unite Party, comprised exclusively of former hall monitors, achieved another victory in a decade-old conquest for authority that began with a neon-yellow sash.
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The newest flavor of the semester has finally hit the courts with people pretending to care about sports to appease their friends and giant cannons that instill fear in fans from a hundred yards away by spitting out “Hit This Ass With A 3-Pointer” shirts.
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