The Eggplant was founded in January 2014 by Aubrey Burrough and Houston Barber, on popular tween website Tumblr dot com. With the dedication and talent of its founders and a few more funny people, the publication became a real life website with Facebook fans and everything. Since then, The Eggplant has become one of the top college satire websites in the nation and a source of #good #content for Seminoles and - unsurprisingly - another thing for Gators to attempt to imitate. 

The publication is currently run by a team of six yellow lab puppies in a trench coat. 

 

Meet The Staff

  Sydney Otis is the editor-in-chief, a Political Science major and your worst nightmare. When she isn’t working for The Eggplant she’s either trying to get celebrities to notice to her or complaining about how celebrities won’t notice her. All that and more at  @spudddddddddd.     

Sydney Otis is the editor-in-chief, a Political Science major and your worst nightmare. When she isn’t working for The Eggplant she’s either trying to get celebrities to notice to her or complaining about how celebrities won’t notice her. All that and more at @spudddddddddd.

 

  Andrew Bryant is a staff writer and master's student in Economics who hopes to one day sneak an Arrested Development reference into an executive summary for a high-paying client (not actually, potential employers)!     

Andrew Bryant is a staff writer and master's student in Economics who hopes to one day sneak an Arrested Development reference into an executive summary for a high-paying client (not actually, potential employers)! 

 

  Michael Hazan is a staff writer and self-proclaimed gay icon. He loves taking selfies with his leg on the sink, being extremely cheap and eating other people's food. Follow him or else you're homophobic: @mudsdale. 

Michael Hazan is a staff writer and self-proclaimed gay icon. He loves taking selfies with his leg on the sink, being extremely cheap and eating other people's food. Follow him or else you're homophobic: @mudsdale. 

  Cory Ruchlin is a chemistry major with way too much free time. He enjoys long walks on the beach, grilling food at midnight and isolating muonic isotopes of Helium in particle accelerators. For more things that only he thinks are funny: @coryruchlin

Cory Ruchlin is a chemistry major with way too much free time. He enjoys long walks on the beach, grilling food at midnight and isolating muonic isotopes of Helium in particle accelerators. For more things that only he thinks are funny: @coryruchlin

  Jillian Metzger is a staff writer majoring in EWM and still can't spell the word necessary on her first try. Her most notable attribute is her extensive knowledge about the movie "The Devil Wears Prada." She encourages anyone to reach out with their favorite banana bread recipe.

Jillian Metzger is a staff writer majoring in EWM and still can't spell the word necessary on her first try. Her most notable attribute is her extensive knowledge about the movie "The Devil Wears Prada." She encourages anyone to reach out with their favorite banana bread recipe.

  Stuart Crews is a staff writer majoring in Political Science with a positive mental attitude. His hobbies include Frank Ocean and talking to himself in empty rooms. Catch him wearing his only pair of bright blue running shoes @stucrews. 

Stuart Crews is a staff writer majoring in Political Science with a positive mental attitude. His hobbies include Frank Ocean and talking to himself in empty rooms. Catch him wearing his only pair of bright blue running shoes @stucrews. 

  Meagan Martinez is a staff writer majoring in Creative Writing and Political Science because the prospect of having a real job in the future seems pretty elitist. Her hobbies include being a buzzkill when people offer her pizza or ice cream (lactose intolerance has taken a big toll on her life), listening to old One Direction albums and having a good cry every now and then. Follow her @meaghaim. 

Meagan Martinez is a staff writer majoring in Creative Writing and Political Science because the prospect of having a real job in the future seems pretty elitist. Her hobbies include being a buzzkill when people offer her pizza or ice cream (lactose intolerance has taken a big toll on her life), listening to old One Direction albums and having a good cry every now and then. Follow her @meaghaim. 

  Mallorie List is the assistant editor and an English major with a minor in "So, are you gonna be a teacher or something?" She likes laughing at her own tweets, fragile masculinity and Dr. Pepper. To read complaints about those dumbass dome lids from Starbucks and praises for 7-time Grammy award winner/singer/songwriter/daddy John Mayer, smash that mf follow button @lalloriemist.    

Mallorie List is the assistant editor and an English major with a minor in "So, are you gonna be a teacher or something?" She likes laughing at her own tweets, fragile masculinity and Dr. Pepper. To read complaints about those dumbass dome lids from Starbucks and praises for 7-time Grammy award winner/singer/songwriter/daddy John Mayer, smash that mf follow button @lalloriemist.

 

  Brendan Little is a staff writer, an English major and an overall party boy. His favorite party techniques are convincing his friends to buy bidets, flossing and buying salad mix from the grocery store we all know he is going to let rot in the fridge. For more partyboy tips, follow Brendan on Twitter @chumburglar

Brendan Little is a staff writer, an English major and an overall party boy. His favorite party techniques are convincing his friends to buy bidets, flossing and buying salad mix from the grocery store we all know he is going to let rot in the fridge. For more partyboy tips, follow Brendan on Twitter @chumburglar

  Gil Damon is majoring in Psychology and Political Science in an effort to be doubly unemployable. As our Wakulla County bureau chief, he will steer all conversations toward the Sopchoppy Worm Gruntin' Festival or that one time he chased away an alligator armed only with a mop. If you pay close attention, his breathing sounds like a cool ocean breeze, his heartbeat feels like the cascade of waves against the sand, and his eyes appear to contain a glowing sunset above a placid blue seascape.

Gil Damon is majoring in Psychology and Political Science in an effort to be doubly unemployable. As our Wakulla County bureau chief, he will steer all conversations toward the Sopchoppy Worm Gruntin' Festival or that one time he chased away an alligator armed only with a mop. If you pay close attention, his breathing sounds like a cool ocean breeze, his heartbeat feels like the cascade of waves against the sand, and his eyes appear to contain a glowing sunset above a placid blue seascape.

  Meagan Johnson is an English Major at FSU and looking for a rich, older man to finance her first novel. Her hobbies include mojitos, coaxing stray cats into her car and smiling and nodding even though she has no idea what you just said.   Follow her @hayyitsmeagan    

Meagan Johnson is an English Major at FSU and looking for a rich, older man to finance her first novel. Her hobbies include mojitos, coaxing stray cats into her car and smiling and nodding even though she has no idea what you just said.
Follow her @hayyitsmeagan

 

  Stephanie Paulive is a staff writer majoring in whatever has the least amount of required math courses. When she's not dodging bibles on campus, she's eating oatmeal in a hurry and having trauma flashbacks to when her gymnastics coaches taped forks to the backs of her knees. Watch her tweet about scraping possums off of her floor and other fun home decor and lifestyle tips    @S_srpp.     

Stephanie Paulive is a staff writer majoring in whatever has the least amount of required math courses. When she's not dodging bibles on campus, she's eating oatmeal in a hurry and having trauma flashbacks to when her gymnastics coaches taped forks to the backs of her knees. Watch her tweet about scraping possums off of her floor and other fun home decor and lifestyle tips @S_srpp.

 

  Miles is a Chuck Palahniuk character who gained sentience and became a creative writing major. His talents include, but are not limited to: comic book discourse, writing for The Eggplant and hand-to-hand combat. His weaknesses are math and being told to be funny. Catch his weird, angry anecdotes @threefacade.

Miles is a Chuck Palahniuk character who gained sentience and became a creative writing major. His talents include, but are not limited to: comic book discourse, writing for The Eggplant and hand-to-hand combat. His weaknesses are math and being told to be funny. Catch his weird, angry anecdotes @threefacade.